Sunday, May 08, 2005

Dada; Pape; Saba or Gamba — Just don't call me grandpa

I recently entered a corner convenience store and purchased myself a beer. The not-too-far-beyond-puberty clerk gave me a quizzical look. "I need to see your ID, please," she asks. I'm old enough to be this girls dad, so I accept her request as a compliment and whip out my driver license. I'm comfortable with the title, "dad." I've been one for over 22 years now. But in a month, or so, I'll have a new title. Grandfather.

I despise the word. At least as it relates to describing myself. I have an incredible grandfather. He's been an excellent provider; he's our family's spiritual leader; he's stepped in as our surrogate father. I have big shoes to fill, and I hope to be the same grandfather to my grandson that was modeled to me. I just don't want nobody calling me grandpa. To me, grand-anything signifies old man. I ain't old, I'm 41. If you're 25 or younger, you're just a kid, and probably consider me to be over-the-hill. And if you're a 25-year-old female, please consider me — period. Kidding, I'm a married man, but you get my point.

I just haven't yet accepted the "I'm having a baby" thing. "Why didn't you use protection" is still the question on forefront of my mind. Especially given my daughter's circumstances which I won't divulge here. Does that make me a hypocrite? I mean, afterall I was even younger, being an unmarried father at 17. I hope that attitude isn't hypocritical. I think it makes me a teacher. I want to be more supportive when she calls, excited about having heard her baby's heart beat for the first time. I want to share in her joy when she tells me that the baby is kicking her ribs.

I know I'm gonna have to get it together sometime soon, time is running out. "How about Paw-paw or Pa," my daughter suggests. That's too Andy Griffith-ish for me. "How about Popi," she asks me. Maybe. I've considered Dada and Gamba; Saba (hebrew) and Dubba (don't ask me why). But they all sound too, well — goofy. Mz. Gig finds this naming convention humorous. Maybe because I was responsible for tagging her with the label of "grandma" before she turned 40. I'm having trouble laughing. Maybe later.

I'd prefer an oracular answer to this quandary, but I think I'll just have to come to terms and accept that I can't disguise it. Bottom line: I will be a grandpa. Very soon. So maybe I'll settle on something straight forward and less silly like, maybe, Grandpa D. "D" for DevasTatingly Grandpa.

Unrelated thought for the day:My thoughts today are still on Trashmans attitudes on male female relationships. I tried thinking of something else, but find myself laughing once again at #14 when I consider my ex. (once again, Trashman's post is R-rated)

Word of the day: oracular


Friar Tuck said...

I have checked out your daughter's blog since I saw it a couple of weeks ago on your post where you linked her.

You have been in my prayers, as has she.

Brea said...

I think the fear of the word "Grandpa" will dissipate when you see those beautiful eyes look up at you. Just a hunch. ;0)

ShellyP said...

My son calls his grandpa 'Joe Joe' which of course comes from 'Joseph'. Maybe yours could call you 'D D?' (ha ha, just kidding, just kidding!) How about 'Gramps'?

WIP said...

We don't wanna know about your "ex" either, unless of course you consider them #14's...

My mother has three grand children, all from me, her only child. She is 57 years soon to be 58 years and still does not accept the moniker "Grandma." From day one, she said she'd be "Nana" and that works for us 'cause the M-I-L is proud to be "Gramma" and her husband is "Granddaddy." Mind you the M-I-L had my husband at 16, so she's still in her fourties (and doesn't look a day over 25).

What's in a name? Boy you sure are stiring up a lot of "feelings" behind this name and grand child thing. LOL.

Nikki said...

Aw, Grandpa isn't that bad. I used to call my grandfather, "Pop Pop".

The Gig said...

Why not ask "The Kolb" he came up with a good name for me, "Ammal'" and you know I loved it. Even though he finally learned how to say "Grandma" I will continue to refer to myself as "Ammal" to him. I will be interested in what Kolby comes up with. :-)

Yvonne said...

Hey Don:
Thanks for the kind words and the visit. I'm not feeling terrible oracular today, but I enjoyed the link to the Grampa-names site.

"Bobba" was one that I like (family history) and "Pops" too.

Oh, and "#14" made me laugh. I have to agree.

princessdominique said...

All right, won't call you grandpa--but it's truly an honor you know :)

Christopher M. Beatrice said...

Well from my family experience, my mom being a couple years older. When my brother had his boy mom was 44. She didn't like the whole grandma thing either. Now she can't wait on the boy to her every week. And grandma isn't such a bad thing. So when the time comes you won't even think about it bro. It will just be another thing. Besides not everybody can still be cool when they get your age take advantage of it. You will be fine. Well I am out. Have a great day.

The Archivist said...

Grandfathers are very special. *grins*

How is being a grandfather/soon-to-be grandfather going?